I don’t want to tell
you what to do. I barely know anything so listening to me might not be in your
best interests. I only ask that you consider my not so novel idea to
make 2020 more enriching to yourself and others. What is this not so well-kept
secret that you should revisit if it’s lacking in your life? The necessity of community.
"One of the most important things you can do on this earth is to let people know they are not alone." Shannon L. Alder
"One of the most important things you can do on this earth is to let people know they are not alone." Shannon L. Alder
I don’t have a
community in Seoul. One reason is because I just moved there in September and
another is that I haven’t put in the necessary effort to form stronger bonds
and feel like I belong in Korea. Where did I love living most? Nakhon Si
Thammarat. Is it a coincidence that that’s where I felt most a part of a
community of younger teachers who worked, played, partied and travelled together?
We all lived roughly in the same neighbourhood, played sports together, ate
outstanding Thai food together, explored beaches and waterfalls together,
shared (mostly) the same language and found a family outside of the borders of
our home country. Some of my closest friends today are those I met while living in
Thailand. Similarly, even though my thoughts on New Zealand are clear, one
positive was that we all lived together and worked on the same mountain. There
was a sense of comradery and friendship. In Warsaw, I lived with three great people
who I still talk with to this day and in Shanghai, I had a community of people
to play lacrosse with. My question to you is, have you found your community?
Being a part of a
community can be anything from a book club, Rotary meetings, religious assembly,
Couchsurfing meetups, volunteering at local hospital, trivia night or cross-country
skiing with a local club. Your community does not even need to be in person. Some
people have specific Facebook groups for whatever interests them, people who
game online together, podcast communities or being a part of a YouTube channel’s
community. Having a community can help
define your identity and give your life more purpose. A community I will be attempting
to join in Seoul is playing pick up basketball on Sundays. Eventually, I would get
to know the people who play each Sunday and with a certain amount of effort,
become friends with those people at some level. Being part of a community also
means other people count on you and notice if you are missing after an event or
two. Knowing your absence will be noticed is for some reason, comforting and a
reason to get out of bed and engage with your selected community.
I have noticed while
reading and listening to podcasts that having a community and people who have
known you for more than a few days is essential part of our happiness and humanity.
I may or may not have been looking up articles last night about how to know
when it is time to cut back on travelling and stay in one place longer term. The
majority of the articles cited wanting to be part of a community as a
reason for scaling back their travel. Meeting random people on the road is
great because you are meeting people you would not ordinarily meet in real life
but at some point, that person will leave and you will be left by yourself. Not
so if you have a community. If you have lived somewhere for more than a few
years and have embraced making connections and joining different communities,
you are partaking in something that is missing in my life and you should be proud
of the life that you have been building.
If for some reason you don’t fully believe your life can be improved with greater community and
social interactions, science is here to back me up. Julianne Holt-Lundstad from
Brigham Young University notes that, “Being connected to others is widely
considered a fundamental human need-crucial to both well-being and survival.”
She goes on to say that, “There is robust evidence that social isolation and
loneliness significantly increase risk of premature mortality, and the magnitude
of the risk exceeds that of many leading health indicators.”
The UK even has a
minister of loneliness. Being alone can kill you so put some pants on and meet
and help other human beings. According to Emily Smith, the author of The Power
of Meaning, life has 4 pillars of meaning.
1-Belonging
People want to feel
like there are appreciated, are making the world a better place and feel like
they belong to a certain group, culture or city. Find a place or people to
belong to.
2-Purpose
Having a reason to
wake up and be productive is an important part of being human. Believe that
your job is making a difference and is aligned to what you believe in is right
is essential.
3-Storytelling
Having experiences and
telling others how we overcame an obstacle or giving advice to others are elements
of storytelling. People love to be told stories. Try not to have a life without
a story or two.
4-
Experiencing more than
normal everyday activities; going beyond usual limits.
Three tips to finding
a community according to caringmagazine.org is become a regular at a local shop
or restaurant. Get to know the names of the people who work there and you will become familiar with staff and customers. Eventually it will feel ‘yours’. Join a group that you care about such
as sports, politics or religion. Finally, find a cause you believe in and do
whatever you can to improve the situation.
To summarize my
thoughts, if you feel that your life is missing something, look at different
ways to connect with the community around you. It could be a simple as shoveling your neighbour’s driveway, bringing an elderly person vegetables from your garden,
donating clothes or food, fundraising for a new playground, giving your time or money to associations you support, or by trying to make the community that you
live in safer. I just saved your life. You can thank me at your next community
meetup.
"A library outranks any other one thing a community can do to benefit its people. It is a never failing spring in the desert."
Andrew Carnagie
"A library outranks any other one thing a community can do to benefit its people. It is a never failing spring in the desert."
Andrew Carnagie
Sources
https://www.sciencealert.com/widespread-loneliness-is-killing-people-and-we-need-to-start-taking-this-seriously
https://caringmagazine.org/find-new-community/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/catching-homelessness/201811/loneliness-kills
TedTalk on how one man
learned how to find a community
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4Wxhm46RbU
