Elephant Trek Tomorrow

Getting late, about to watch an episode of Mad Men, then bed. Posting this in case an elephant eats me in the next 2 days. Going on an elephant trek tomorrow, coming back Mondayish, will miss football but on the bright side won't have to watch the Cowboys lose. Pai is such a nice place, so many hills and great places to eat. Ate at Thai Kebab twice, once for a BAGEL!! and once for shawarma. Lebanese for is so good so I had a great idea. I've met a few Lebanese people in Ottawa and I'm pretty certain I've nerve seen a shawarma stand or restaurant in Ottawa, so once I get back, I will open the first ever in Ottawa, stay open late and cater to the after bar crowd. Hope nobody steals this idea by the time I get back. Pai:

In Chiang Rai now, walked around a bit today, had supper with my mom, got a foot massage and hoping for decent weather tomorrow.



Enjoy your weekend and stay out of the headlines.


In ancient Greece, tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vskv1Rpujwg

Oh. Hello there, didn't see you come in. So. I'm in Pai. Obviously have stolen a picture from the world wide web:

Very small and laid back town. About 3ish hours from Chiang Mai. The van ride here was like a mini roller coaster. I'd bet my massive Thai teaching salary that people have for sure puked on that ride. Let's just say if you were in the van, you wouldn't turn to your friend and say this is probably what Saskatchewan is like. Staying at an alright place with my mom for 250 baht a night, definitely the cheapest room I've had to pay for. Weather has been outstanding since we left one of my least favorite cities. Bangkok. The only thing I really wanted to do in Bangkok was to watch the movie Moneyball in a theater. Love going to the movies and Moneyball is a pretty big movie so thought Bangkok might be good for something. It isn't. Ended up traveling in style to Chiang Mai with Air Asia, much better than taking a bus. The plan was to take a train but because of the worst flooding in 40 years, no train service.


Loved Chiang Mai, a lot of things to do, places to eat and things to see. Went to the Sunday Night Market:


Bought so many great things and maybe a thing or two for teacher Bert. My mom will be bringing a wave of things home with her that some of you will be getting as Christmas presents. If you don't get something from the first wave, get the hint...just kidding...there will be many waves, I just have lots of people to buy things for and only one travel mule...for now. Did a cooking class with my mom just outside of town, took a train to get there, then a little bike ride, then picked out some ingredients for our dishes, made 6 different things. I ended up making spring rolls, cashew nut chicken, deep fried bananas (You'll never find one alone..) curry and other things. 

Went to the Night Bazaar market last night, bought more things for more people. Overall, trip with mom is a success so far, no rain makes Bert happy, not depressed about having to go back to work in a little bit, my kids are super cute and smart and I'm excited to see them again and the people of Nakhon. Oh, been getting tons of massages lately and got my ears cleaned by this lady and her candle. Ears have never been this clean.

You Pay Now!

Last one was getting a little long so still on the magical bus ride so will let you know how the rest of Phi Phi was. After diving, met up with Kait, Stu, Karen, Scott, Ian and Alex. Ian is Stu's brother and Alex is his gf. A bunch of Canadians hanging out on a Thai island. Not complaining. First 2 days rained a bit, had a few small rivers to walk through on the way into the busier part of town but nothing me and my flippy floppies couldn't handle. First night, watched a fire show, not surprisingly. oh and did something else that I will talk about later but needs to be a secret for maybe a month. Then will discuss. Ate some great pizza, had a bucket or two, saw a small Thai teenager pick a fight with a bigger non Thai person, definitely didn't know that the kid was into Muay Thai, went to see what happened, the non Thai guy was knocked out on the beach and the teenager was kicking him in the shins until his friends stepped it. Lesson: Don't fight locals.

Next day it was raining so I slept in, met up with everyone, they went swimming, I stayed dry and lifeguarded them. Ate supper at this Italian restaurant, very good. Even though I really like Subway, eating supper with friends at a nice restaurant beats it hands down. Not 100% sure what the quote is but been thinking about it lately. It doesn't matter where you go in life, it matters who you have beside you. I think it is very true.
Watched another fire show from people who were on Thailand's Got Talent. Best show I've seen. After that, well first let me say that I do like dancing. Just certain conditions need to be present. 1-Maybe a drink or two. Not drunk just something to loosen you up. 2-Music you like and music you can dance to. 3-Having people you like around you. All three of those things were present, we were outside, warm night, on the beach and had a DJ from Samui there who had incredible remixes and had the best dancing session of my life. I really needed to let it out before my Northern Thailand journey started and I got exactly what I needed so Teacher Bert was happy. Oh and the other night we watched Muay Thai, which was on my Tland bucket list. Then, they let random people come up and fight and they get a free bucket to entertain the masses. And it was entertaining, might have lost a hundred baht to Stu because the color Red wasn't aggressive enough.
After that, went to Long Beach where I did not double check ferry times and had to stay an extra night. Not the worst thing to be stuck here.

But left my mom solo which she apparently used for walking around Bangkok unsupervised and sleeping. Karen and Scott went home this morning, love them and will definitely be hanging out with them in Ottawa, possible at the cabin. Karen has a bunch of group pictures so once I get some, they will be posted on my fb and here. Hung out on the beach this morning, did a little snorkeling, oh and yesterday did a snorkeling trip around Maya Beach where the movie The Beach was filmed.
Was a tad overrated and would be better if you went really early before other tourists got there or there is the option of camping overnight. My favorite part of the island wasn't the part where they filmed it but was either Pi Leh Beach which is:

or 

on Loh Sama. Either way, not bad. Way less people, great swimming and beautiful cliffs. I'd rate Phi Phi a 17.8 out of 21 on the Bertron Tourist Scale. Anyway, that's what I've been up to, every day I get a little more excited to see Mother Goose so should be a good 2 weeks.
Goodbye and Good luck.
Bert.

Kait...Pay the man

Long Beach.

Right now it is 752pm, I left Koh Phi Phi at 2pm and should get to Bangkok at 6am. It is a bit of a trek. In reality, I should already be in Bangkok but a certain blogger got the ferry time and bus time mixed up and had to stay an extra day here:

I really did feel bad and am very sorry mother. So my mom was alone in the big city today, she survived and will meet up with her after fun bus adventure I am on. On the bright side, I have many hours to write thoughts/comments/jokes so this might get a little long ORRR I will make it into 2 or 3 posts. Let's start at the top:

I like Ao Nang. Dropped me off right at a Burger King, that meal MAY have cost me more than my room. Which means a-BK is expensive b-my room was inexpensive but still nice. Because it is low/rainy season most things there weren't that expensive. 300 baht for a room with "hot" shower, 2 beds, fan and a lock wasn't bad. Might have had Subway twice and McDonald's once. I feel I deserve it because I live in Nakhon and we don't have fun places like that and Subway is healthy. And wonderful. The main reason I ate at McDonald's was because I was watching NFL games streamed online and games start here at 12am so at halftime (2 amish) was one of the 3 places I could get food. Now I've had my fix. We'll see how Bangkok treats me food wise. I would definitely recommend going to Ao Nang if you have a family, are a couple or are single, a lot of places to eat, drink and get massages. Well you can get massages anywhere here. It is Thailand.
After I watched the Cowboys lose. the next day I made a break for it and went to Phi Phi. My expectations were high; I try not to get tooooo excited about places because I find most places overrated so when something is great, I am somewhat surprised. Was Phi Phi what I thought it would be? No but was still an above average island. Went diving the first day with Princess Divers because they were rated the highest on Trip Advisor. Side note: Trip Advisor is great and shouldn't just be used to hate on a hotel/restaurant which is deserved sometimes, but also to praise or just let people know it isn't as bad as one awful reviewer says it is. I find a lot of owners now respond back to comments people make and think everyone who has a business should be super aware of how their brand is managed online.
Anyway, diving was fun, did 2 dives, woke up at 7am. At the end of the day, you go over which fish you saw with your dive master so here are a few of the things I saw:



Titan  Triggerfish



Pineapple Sea Cucumber

Blue Sea Star

Still far from great at diving but improving slowly, still claustrophobic but working on it. After you are down there for a bit you can start to enjoy it and get some decent thinking done and wouldn't you know it, I thought about my little blog that I have and thought I would share a timbit Bert thought with you.
I really want to see a turtle or a shark. Or a SharkTurtle but I heard those were very rare, possibly extinct. I think it is pretty easy to get sidetracked while down there because you are focusing on not dying, staying close to your buddy and trying to find that turtle, shark or whatever. Then the thought sort of hit me that you might be looking crazy hard for a certain thing and then to your bottom right something you might not even know exists is slowly crawling by you but you don't even know to look for it because you have an idea in your head of what you want to see. I think this example might extend out of the water. Say you are whatever age and are super focused on finding a wife/husband. Every day, everywhere you go, most of your thoughts and planning are revolving around finding that right person. While you are doing that, an amazing job might be right around the corner if you dig a little deeper or a great travel opportunity with a friend might be in the cards if you made time to talk about something other than plentyoffish.com. Having a set goal and going for it, good. Being narrowly focused on an outcome that you don't have full control over while missing incredible opportunities...bad. So today, take a look around, you might find a SharkTurtle.

Quick, short post

Last post took the longest out of any post I've done. I know you wouldn't be able to tell from the quality of it except for Kait's superior comments (thanks Kait!) I will make this short and a little sweeter than usual. Finished my Prawn Show today! I think it went really well, I've never seen anyone else's show or done one before but the kids were well behaved, sang their 4 year old hearts out and were generally pretty cute and fun. Now I don't work till Wednesday, then 3 not full days of work then off until October 25th I believe. The main message I want to get across in this blog is the other day I went back to this huge Thai festival they are having in Nakhon for the 3rd time but this time will all Thai people and is certainly a different experience being with people who understand everyone everyone is saying. I know very little Thai and main stumbling blocks are I have a lot to learn in a short period of time and once you learn Thai, outside of Thailand it isn't much use. If you learn Spanish or Chinese, that is useful. Not a ton of people speaking Thai in North Bay these days. When my friend Alex was up last weekend he basically told me I'm dumb for not learning Thai and that I'm missing out on meeting really different and fun people. And he's right. It is sort of like if I was Thai, went to Canada to teach kids how to speak Thai and only hung out with other Thai teachers and only learned a few words of English. I'm really limiting the things I can do and the friends I can meet by not learning Thai. So I've learned a few things this week and will hopefully continue throughout my break. Highlights of the festival were playing bingo (no idea what numbers the guy was calling but he let me choose 2 bingo balls...no...big...deal) shot a BB gun at a target (if the goal was to make sure the man on the target was left unharmed, then I succeeded) and throwing balls at a teenager on a dunk tank. That was probably the best part, I didn't get them but I have a burning desire to return and willing to spend 500 baht to ensure my triumph over them. Have an unbelievable weekend. Might get pictures later and I know people love pictures so look at this:





Try a little harder to be a little better

SPECIAL EDITION. KAIT'S CORNER.

This week we have a special guest. This is Kait. From Ottawa, special bond has been created because we both have lived there, makes me miss home less because her and Stu are here. Even though she steals my paint supplies then lies about it, she is still one of my favorite people here. Also, she says I don't give her compliments so this should cover me until December. She will be giving her thoughts/comments/concerns on a range of issues, mainly issues brought up in this wonderful blog you all read. Enjoy Kait's Corner. $$$

Thanks for the lovely introduction; it makes me feel a little worse about arguing against the majority of your blog content. Actually, judging by the fact that I didn’t roll my eyes once while reading, I think this may just be one of your most mature blogs yet! Woo Bert! I’m glad you are embracing most of what Thailand has to offer and you seem more relaxed. Evidence #1: your realization that Thailand may be a little warm for 3 piece suits ;). Evidence #2: we finally witnessed Mr. “I love to dance” actually bust a move.

Wow..........what a week. (Alex making fun of how lame and typical me having a blog is and how they all probably start off as) I'm probably going to forget somethings but here we go. At work, on my computer and I turn around and there is a little kid standing there with a bag with two pieces of sweet corn. That seems about right. Just ate one, so good. Kids/parents have started bringing me things and I really like it. Have a little notebook now, get pound cakes and cookies. Had a friend from Ottawa come visit on Saturday. First person from home that I've seen since leaving and was a lot of fun. Went to the pool, ate a pizza man which some people love....some love less....got massages, went to a Thai festival with a ridiculous amount of people/vender's/turtles and kittens. Went to a little Jamaican bar after, played some connect 4, went to a Disney themed party. Sunday went to my first waterfall with Alex, ate at I think my favorite restaurant in Nakhon, Joy's Pizza but I don't eat their pizza. I really do wish I loved Thai food more...but I don't.

"TUBING" 3 weeks ago..ish

Sandwich party.  I had 4.5 sandwiches. (currently listening to easy listening 80s music)

This is my go to meal.

I just looked at pictures from the waterfall on Sunday and 3 people in the last bit have told me I've gotten smaller and looking at those pictures I agree. I need to eat more of my go to meal. Arggg.

I would like to add that the purpose behind “Kait’s Corner” is not to bash Bert or any of his ideas, but rather to engage in a healthy dialogue about some of his more controversial posts. For example, pizza man is way better than joy’s pizza. Just kidding (although it is true). On a side note- Bert, it often takes a while to get used to all the rice. Don’t freight, one day you will wake up craving it. The fact that you already eat it for breakfast is a good sign.

Probably the safest ferris wheel in the world.

My main my Pum and personal serenader Jimmy.

So football has now started and the games start at 12am here so I dont' watch them live..yet..so last Monday I went to Sean's place and watched some of the games and by pure chance the Cowboy game was on. I don't think I can describe how happy it made me. I had to avoid the internet all day just in case I saw any scores. Then I went back the next day to watch Monday night football. Sean and I are becoming very close..and he has good food. And a pool table. I might like Nick from Nick and Nat a little less because of said pool  table.

Kait, would you like to describe this person for my record breaking 10 followers? Take THAT Lady Gaga.

Last week was exam week so I had to test all my kids individually in math and English. Last week was the fastest week I've had in Thailand. I liked seeing how much my kids have learned from my above average teaching style and one student I thought was pretty smart ended up doing the best out of the whole class. Surprised me and taught me to pay more attention to kids that might be a little less quiet. On the other hand, somewhat discouraging when I ask a student what his name is and can't answer me soooo I have things to work on. This week getting their report cards in order, practicing for our Prawn Show which there will be a video/pictures of and the infamous Prawn Song will go viral. 

I've been told that my blog hasn't been up to par lately and needs more Bert thoughts and funnier elements. Well we all know I'm not funny so I will give you a thought or two. I think the world needs DRASTIC and ACCOUNTABLE change. Let's start with the second one. Maybe the most important thing in someones job/life/relationship is accountability. For example, you are in high school, working at a job that you don't love working but are forced to make paper because girls don't date guys with no money or without any skills.

Bow-hunting skills, computer hacking skills etc. What reason would they have to try and learn new skills, continue to develop and be super nice to every customer they encounter? Accountability. If you work at a job where nobody cares if you show up late, doesn't matter how hard you work or get along with other people...eventually most people will stop giving 100% at some point or just leave the company...unless your name is Jessica McLellan or Jessica Oliver for that matter. You two should meet. Anyway, that is why elections are important for voters to be able to punish or reward politicians after a certain term, to make them accountable. Which brings me to my next point. I believe the world and maybe some of us humans are in need of DRASTIC change. I only use capitals because I feel change isn't strong enough of a word. I understand that the world as a whole does somethings great and some humans have been know to be change the course of history. With issues such as population explosion, in the year 2025, the population of the world is estimated to grow to 7.8 billion and in the year 2050 around 8.9 billion. Most of this growth will come in developing countries where there is already a shortage of food. 

Globally around 30,000 nuclear weapons are held by various countries. On average, each of them has a destructive power thirty times that of the Hiroshima bomb.

The world's current population is already estimated to be unsustainable at today's rates of consumption and pollution, and another 2.5 billion people over the next half-century—all rightly striving to raise their standards of living—will only exacerbate the problem.

KAABOOOOM

World population:
6.8 billion

World Hunger:
925 million people do not have enough to eat which is more than the populations of USA, Canada and the European Union combined. 

98% of the world's undernourished people live in developing countries.
35 million people are living with HIV/AIDS.
1.7 billion people lack access to clean water.
2.3 billion people suffer from water-borne diseases each year.
12 percent of the world's population uses 85 percent of its water, and non of the 12 percent lives in developing countries.
Shark specialists estimate that 100 million sharks are killed for their fins, annually. 

an estimated 800,000 people are trafficked across international borders each year; approximately 50 per cent of all victims are children. there are an estimated 300,000 child soldiers involved in over 30 areas of conflict worldwide, some younger than 10 years old. Of the 600,000-800,000 people trafficked, 70% are female and 50% are children; the majority of these victims are forced into commercial sex trade.

I will stop here because goooogling this is making me sad. I really don't think these problems will be solved because there are just too many issues, in too many countries, with too many different motivations and wait for it..........not enough accountability. In a perfect world how would we solve this? I haven't put crazy, crazy amounts of thought into this but I think problems we have like in minority governments or in the US, it is just too hard and you need too much cooperation to get anything done. Too many people looking out for different interests to we make short term comprises that only make our long term problems more severe. People want change/improvement but don't want to bothered. Example: Toronto elects Rob Ford to put the city back on track buy cutting spending, people start realizing THEY might lose their jobs, get angry and complain, then Liberals say (provincial election going on at home right now) this is what will happen if you vote Conservative. Well maybe that's what provinces and countries need. Stop spending so much money, get rid of jobs that arent' useful. People riot in Greece and England because of austerity measures..your country has no money, what do you expect. I just think the world would be better off will unbelievably bright, long term thinking people had some sort of small council, were anonymous and had control over all aspects of a country while protecting basic human rights. These people were somehow held accountable every 3-5 years by the people they rule and were rewarded in some manner or punished in some way if their policies didn't turn out. These are my thoughts and also somewhat open to the opinions of others. Have a fun Wednesday.

This was informative but also very depressing. As a major player in the mass media industry, it is responsible of you to pass along this information to your readers. Good job.

Following along with Bert’s eclectic collection of information this week, and on a topic far more pressing than world hunger or human trafficking, I would like to comment on old post that has nothing to do with this entry. The post is called Got quite involved on the weekend (as British people would say)…

“…my little cousin Alex loves [house] music...and I always thought she was wrong for liking it and how she wasn't cool…. this is what the "kids" are listening to these days and how I'm out of the loop. It hit me like a orange juice truck. There is a generation of people younger than me that like different things and think things I like are lame.” -Bert

I think as you get older and wiser you come to the realization that what is cool is completely arbitrary and often comes in full circle. So, eventually “cool” things don’t interest you like they used to. You learn to enjoy the fashion or music that you truly enjoy. That is not to say that taste doesn’t change or adapt—but I think as we get older we realize that we don’t necessarily need to indulge in the latest trend. Techno & house music is nothing new—the rave culture started in the late 1980’s and thrived through until the mid 90’s. And, as things usually do, has come back in style recently. So there are those who like it because it is “cool for now” and there are those who have been listening to it for years and couldn’t care less about popular consensus. So Bert, it doesn’t mean you are “out of touch”, it just means that you like what you like and don’t focus as much time and energy finding out what the masses are into at the moment. As long as you are open to trying new things- cool or otherwise- it may not actually matter what the popular opinion is. This also goes for fads such as, oh let’s say, planking. Who cares if it is old news, if you get your kicks lying flat in random places then good for you (this goes out to the silly looking bearded guy in on of the pictures). 

Ps. Thanks for including this picture and portraying me as a high roller. 

P.S. This is one of the many Thai things I ate this
week. Love Thai food.

Didn't taste that bad...prime blog material though.

Oh and the other night I had a group Skype date with some of my friends from Ottawa and they took a group picture while holding a laptop. I thought it was very adorable but I'm pretty sure my eyes were shut..



Laugh when you can, apologize when you should & let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive quickly, take chances, give everything, and have no regrets. Life is too short to be anything but happy.

… & don’t forget to think less and feel more.

Definitely did not watch Titanic this week.

This week was review week for teaching, kids have exams next week, then a show on the 23rd then a week to get ready for next semester then off until the 25th of October. Didn't have to teach on Friday because some kids have Hand, Foot and Mouth disease so the Health Department came in, sprayed everything so we didn't have to work or teach. No complaints. On Thursday night, played frisbee then there was a sandwich party near my house. Which was great, I brought peanut butter and jam, other people brought way more advanced things. Had 4 and a half sandwiches. If I was good at blogging there would be pictures right here, but as you know from reading this, I run a low end operation. There are pictures out there and should post them at some random time. Friday, went to a cowboy themed, free beer/free food party. That was great. As Stu said, I bet nobody from home right now is thinking "I bet he is at a cowboy themed Thai style party". Again, didn't bring my camera HOWEVER some people do bring theirs so I have stolen some. Might get some more this week so will post those when I get them. Here:

There were balloons everywhere.

Got my bike washed for the first time on Friday, then it wouldn't start. Eventually got it to the Honda dealership where the guy told me my bike needs oil. Not just in Canada do bikes need oil, apparently a universal thing. Lesson learned. Went too late to pick it up on Saturday, ate chili at Sean's restaurant. Don't worry mom, you beat his chili hands down.

That's sort of what last week has been like. I found these interesting time lapse videos. This one is fun and the one on New York and Barcelona are well done.

http://www.askmen.com/top_10/entertainment/time-lapse-video_4.html