One Year Sober

 

The last drink I had was May 24, 2020. I had some peach soju while watching Ford vs. Ferrari. I didn’t know that was going to be my last drink for a year but that’s the way it all unfolded. I would love to write about how AMAZING I feel since I gave up drinking and how EXTRAORDINARY my life has been since I stopped drinking but that’s not exactly what happened.

Why did I do this?

Mainly for health reasons. I didn’t have a problem and I wasn’t getting out of control drunk. I wouldn’t really drink during the week but maybe one night on the weekend I would have a few drinks and during normal times, would go out at least once a weekend; maybe more frequently when I was younger. I felt that a lot of people were drinking more because of lockdowns and I didn’t want to spend my Covid times being unhealthy. I wanted to give my liver a break, try to be healthier, have something to write about and just see what it’s like to not drink.



What was it like not drinking for a year?

I think not drinking during Covid was the right time to stop. People haven’t been partying so I feel like I haven’t missed out on much. Groups of people gathering and drinking has not been happening in Seoul so I haven’t felt tempted to buy a few Heinekens and just go for it. The strangest takeaway from this past year has been dreaming about alcohol. I would have dreams that I had a sip of beer then realize I wasn’t supposed to be drinking and then feel terrible. I looked this up online and apparently people with serious drinking problems have written that they also have dreams about alcohol. Most of the articles online are from people who quit because they had a real problem but there is a growing number of people who are choosing sobriety. Alcohol free bars were gaining popularity before Covid and there are lots of communities that help people shift to cleaner living. Here are some links and videos I found helpful:

https://www.oneyearnobeer.com/success-stories/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ND3IhIj4KzU&ab_channel=TheoVonClips

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKDXh-MHTkc&ab_channel=CaptainGnarkill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFe1a86Ibl8&ab_channel=AddictedToHappy


I also learned that people don’t really care if you aren’t drinking as long as you won’t judge them while they drink. People do tend to not trust someone who doesn’t drink. I don’t understand it but I have heard it multiple times. Dating is a little harder while not drinking because people think that you are an alcoholic who has some real issues with drinking but overall, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Dating sober just means you do more non-alcoholic activities and actually get to know each other without the crutch of a bartender. What a novel concept.







However, one interesting side effect was being sober really makes you feel your feelings. Feeling bad? Well, you are just going to have to feel bad. Feel great? That’s wonderful but you can’t feel even better because you can’t drink. I remember going on a date with a woman and feeling extremely nervous during our second date and thinking that alcohol would really hit the spot right about now. I don’t think we realize how we use alcohol to celebrate or when we want to commiserate. There’s almost always a time for alcohol

My lemonade intake skyrocketed. Not drinking forces you to have a go-to drink at the bar that doesn’t have booze in it. Try and not start pounding back sugary drinks. Perrier water and lime isn’t the worst choice.

You don’t need me to tell you this but alcohol is terrible for your body. We are essentially just drinking poison. But it’s delicious poison.


Also, throughout this past year I have noticed that when I want to drink is usually when I’m bored. Saturday afternoon with nothing to do? Grabbing a beer sounds like a good idea. Friday night and no plans? A whiskey and Coke would hit the spot. If you are trying to limit or quit your drinking, just make sure you have a different activity to take the place of drinking.

Finally, not drinking really makes you take responsibility for your actions. When we drink, we can blame the all-you can-drink brunch. But when you are completely sober and you wake up the next day regretting something you said or did, there is nobody else to blame but yourself. Not drinking should hopefully help you make better decisions.

Will you start drinking again?

Yes, but I think instead of my default answer being yes, I will pick and choose my drinking opportunities more carefully. Overall, I didn’t miss it but there are some situations where drinking just makes things better. Having a sour beer during the summer. Eating some fried chicken and having a beer is a very Korean thing to do. Having a Jager bomb for breakfast because it’s Thursday morning; things like that.


What have you learned?

For me, it wasn’t that hard to stop. It’s just a habit. I think it’s much harder to start doing something than it is to stop doing something. Not drinking is simple enough. Just don’t buy booze and you won’t drink it. It’s not that complicated. I have also noticed how prevalent drinking is in all cultures. Everywhere you go, people are drinking. Watching TV? People are drinking and they look so cool! Watching a movie? Drinking. People on a date? You better believe she is drinking if she has to talk to that dope all night. Brunch? Free flow all afternoon baby. Speaking of babies; drinking at a baby shower? Heck yes. Just as a fun game, try and notice how often you see or notice people talking about or actually drinking. It may or may not surprise you how frequently people get after it.






Do you recommend people stop drinking?

I think people should do whatever they want. You want to keep drinking? Go for it. Want to slow down? Give it a try. Want to give it up completely? You do you, young chap. I think that if you think you might want a break, just try 30 days. 365 is a bit excessive.


How has quitting alcohol affected other people?

During this past year, I have read a bunch of articles from people who have become sober and don’t seem to want to ever drink again. A lot of the articles are about people having way more energy, being a better parent, becoming much more productive, and generally feeling 100% better about almost everything. I don’t really feel this way. The main takeaway for me was not being hungover was the best outcome of my one year of no drinking. I lost about 15 pounds almost immediately while also riding my bike a lot. Not drinking also stops you from eating fast food late at night and ordering fast food the next day to deal with your recovery. If you add up all of the time planning to drink, buying alcohol, drinking, eating and recovering, that’s a lot of total time if added up throughout the years. I definitely saved some money, had much more free time, haven’t puked in over a year, and I wake up way earlier than I ever have.


What about non-alcoholic beer?

Did you not read the title? 100% sober. But if I were to do it again, I would probably have a few non-alcoholic Heinekens that they sell right outside of my apartment but the thought never really crossed my mind until 11 months in and by then I was in too deep not to finish strong.


Who else is sober?

Not that this is important but I looked up famous people who are sober and was a little surprised to see that it was more common than I would have guessed. Natalie Portman, Elton John, Zac Efron, Bradley Cooper, Rob Lowe, Russell Brand, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Lopez, Jim Carrey and even Eminem. I think being sober isn’t branded in a very sexy way. It’s portrayed in the media as being cool to smoke and to drink but we would all think Bond was a little less sexy if instead of asking for a martini-shaken, not stirred-he asked for a virgin watermelon margarita.

Final thoughts?

I think telling people I was doing one year without drinking made it easier for people to not try and convince me to drink. So if you are thinking about trying it, if anyone asks you to drink, just tell them you are doing a 30 day, 60 day, or rest of your life sober challenge and people should be ok with that. I also think telling people I was doing one year made me want to stick to it. For some reason, having other people keep you accountable makes it more likely that we will reach our goals.

In summary, I thought that I would feel way better after not drinking for a year. I feel fine. I feel healthy but I don’t feel like a completely different person. I’m glad I did it. I hope that it makes me appreciate the random gin and tonic or occasional old fashioned. You obviously know this but you really don’t need alcohol to have a good time. Seeing people wasted on the street at night yelling at their friends does not make me feel like I would like to be in their shoes.


I think drinking is incredibly social and we do it when we are with our friends to enjoy our downtime and bond with each other. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with that. It’s probably just important to understand the role alcohol plays in your life and how you feel about that relationship. Cheers!

"That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen." 

Charles Bukowski