Tuesday, October 16, 2018

5 Love Languages

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Do you know your love language? Do you even know all 5 love languages brah? We all give and receive love in our own unique, weird human way. According to Gary Chapman, the 5 are

Acts of service
Quality time
Physical touch
Words of affirmation

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What do all of these mean? What type of person does each love language make you? What am I? What are you? Let’s find out.

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I forget where I first heard about love languages but the book was written in 1992 and has made a renaissance with people’s obsession with online quizzes and learning and becoming more obsessed with ourselves.  
I feel like it’s important to know how we like to be loved is not always how the person we are with likes to receive love. Knowing that your partner likes words of affirmation might save you some cash next time you mess up; just write them some dope slam poetry. If you accidentally run over her little sister’s pet turtle and your wife likes gifts, time to dig into the emergency wife envelope.

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I’m going to make some gross generalizations about the different types of people and their love language. 

Acts of service You lazy. Do your own laundry and make your own quiche. You have been coddled too long by your mother and need to check yourself.

Gifts You gold digger you. Get your own job to buy your own premium gasoline.

Quality time This makes you normal. You want to hang out with your boyfriend? Yeah that makes sense. Sandra over their wants gifts because her boyfriend can’t match his belt to his shoes. You should want to go kayaking with your boyfriend because that’s why people have boyfriends. Kayaking.

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Words of affirmation People like to be told they are pretty, valuable, loved and respected. We like attention. Can’t blame someone for that.

Physical touch You are an absolute freak. These blog posts are G rated so I’m not going to go into detail here but you all know who you are. Probably most of you. Bunch of sickos….

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But Bert, what love language are you? Thanks for asking. Since the right answer is quality time, I’m going to go with that. Sure it would be nice for someone to clean the chimney for me or tell me how nice I look in my new flamingo themed suit or even buy me a much needed money clip but what I actually want to do with you is go to Laos, drive around until we find a trail for a waterfall, eat fruit, listen to music as I ponder questions I’ve never asked you before.

A love language I am certainly not and have made mild gains in is words of affirmation. I’m going to go ahead and do the mature thing here and blame my father. I obviously can’t be held responsible for my actions so if he didn’t do it that way, neither will I.

What does all of this mean? Well if you are trying to learn about love languages, how to love your husband/wife better and are making a concerted effort to be a better you for yourself and your other half, you are on the right track. We certainly don’t solely show only one love language but is important to know there are different ways to show people we care while certain actions, gifts or words will be more impactful than others. I wish good health and good luck on your love language journey.

My wife and I just celebrated our 20th anniversary on August 10th. As you know from the end of my book, I don’t try to understand what her love language is or guess what she’s thinking anymore,” Epley told me. “When I want to know, I ask. And when I want her to know what I’m thinking, I tell her. That ensures we’re using the same language.”

Want to find out your love language? Take this quiz: