10 Years Abroad

 

It’s been ten years since I first started writing this blog from Pearson International Airport while waiting to board a flight to Bangkok.

(https://bertbrandon.blogspot.com/2011/05/toronto-to-japan-to-bangkok.html)

I told people that I would leave for a month or so and if I didn’t like it, I would come back home. If I did like it, I would find a job teaching and see what happens. Ten years later, I’m about 60 days away from finally coming back home for good. Here are some thoughts on the last ten years.


-I wasn’t super excited to go to Thailand. I just wanted to see what life was like outside of North America. I wanted to mix things up a bit and see why everyone loved travelling so much. The expectation was not to be away for just under a total of 3000 days. I didn’t expect to become a certified teacher, dislike Japan, fall through a roof, become obsessed with personal finance, get 4 tattoos, take a year off from drinking, visit 27 countries, live in Warsaw, Shanghai, Seoul, New Zealand and Nakhon Si Thammarat. I’m glad I had no expectations and it’s a lesson we should all keep very close to our hearts. Having expectations leads to disappointment.





-Make a list. Going on a trip? Make a list. Starting a new day? Make a list. Going grocery shopping? Make a list. Breaking up with your boyfriend? Make a list and tell him every reason why. Returning home to Canada? Better believe I have a list.





-Your passport is essentially your #1 priority while travelling abroad. Keep it in the same place and don’t put it down in some random spot. I went 9 years without losing my passport while being away. Almost made it.


-Just because you have made good decisions up to now, doesn’t preclude you from making a terrible mistake in the future. Even if you know better and even if you have been in similar situations before and made the right choice, getting older and more experienced does not guarantee that you will continue making the right choices. Be alert in continuing to make wise life choices.





-Kids are super funny. Just the other day, a grade one student came up to me and said, “Mr. Brandon, I can feel my teeth growing.” Good talk, thanks Iru.




-People over places. It’s better to be with people you love in some crappy basement apartment in some indistinct town than it is to be at the Taj Mahal alone.

-The troublemaking students are 99% of the time boys. This should not be a surprise to anyone.




-We all need help from time to time. Many different people from several different countries have had to help me in the last decade. It’s ok to ask for help and it feels good to help others. Time I get back to Canada and start evening things up.

-Get an International Driver’s License. Being able to drive in a foreign country gives you much more freedom and a chance to see things you wouldn’t otherwise see.




-I have found it’s important to have something to look forward to. It can be something big like a trip or a music festival or something small like a shave, hair wash or all you can eat BBQ. Having a rough day at least got you one day closer to something that will bring you joy.

-Buy, bring and use sunscreen. I am guilty of not adhering to this rule strictly enough.








-Having a Kindle makes reading on the road much more practical.

-Start collecting those Aeroplan or credit card miles sooner rather than later.

-Get your laundry done while travelling abroad if it is cost effective. It will take a load off your mind (Dating my laundry lady worked out well for me so maybe you should try it).  I also have someone clean my apartment in Seoul once a month for $54 and get shaved once or twice a month for $11.




-I think a minimalist lifestyle suits me well. You don’t need half as many things as you think you do. The adage of bringing twice the money and half the stuff is very true.

-Keep a journal. Even if you never leave your town, it’s nice to be able to go back and reflect on how things used to be and all of the things you worried about that never materialized.






-Walking Tours are a great way to see a new city. I would also recommend doing a bike tour if you want to be a bit more active and see more places in a shorter amount of time. Or rent your own bike and just go for it.





-I have gone more than a year without a phone number or data. I don’t recommend it. I did it mainly because there is free Wifi at school, at metro stations and at most restaurants. I also did it to save money and to spend less time on my phone. Getting a phone number and data will be one of the first things I accomplish once I get home.




-We all know this but Instagram isn’t real life. Try and not compare your life to what you see on Instagram. People aren’t that much happier than you are and their lives aren’t that much more exciting than yours.




-Don’t go on a snowboarding trip as a first date/meetup.

https://bertbrandon.blogspot.com/2020/12/getting-rejected.html

-I track almost every dollar I spend. I find it helpful to understand where I spend my money and helps me to buy less useless junk. It’s a good way to understand how expensive or affordable travelling really is and also can help understand spending and hopefully help you save. I just use an Excel spreadsheet and list whatever I bought next to whatever day it is. I’m sure there are lots of fancy apps to help you accomplish the same goal.

-Travel alone. The majority of my trips have been alone and I think people can learn a lot by not depending on a friend for help and companionship. 




-Travelling can be extremely expensive or it can be quite affordable depending on what you want to experience. If you have a budget of $5000 for travel every year, that gives you a lot of options. You could go on one amazing trip for $5000 or you could go on multiple trips either inside or outside of your home country. There is almost always a cheap way of doing something. Couchsurfing, eating at 7-11, visiting free parks or cheap national parks, public transportation, buying fruit at a market, eating street food, using free WIFI, not drinking alcohol, avoiding buying souvenirs and other items you don’t actually need are all ways to keep the costs down. I just had my students create their own travel itinerary for a three-day trip outside of Korea. I hope that they learn to prioritize experiences over things.

-I have only done this a few times but it’s been fun to read a book from the country you are visiting or living in. It can give you a different perspective of how things used to be or inform you about a certain aspect of that country’s history that you might have otherwise never learnt about.




-While for the most part, I like to try random foods in different places, but sometimes you just need McDonald’s. Don’t feel too bad about visiting France and stopping by for a quick Big Mac. As long as it’s not the only cuisine you eat while visiting, sometimes it just has to happen.

-Figure out the currency exchange before landing in a new country. Is 100,000 Laotian Kip enough? Well, since it's only $10, I'm guessing you will need more. 

-It’s important to almost always be de-escalating situations whether abroad or at home. It’s rare that turning things up ends up well for everyone involved. Take a breath and turn the heat down. It’s almost always the right call.



-If you are unhappy at home, I don’t think a one-week vacation to Uruguay is going to cure the cause for your malaise. You might even be more unhappy once you return home.

-Your trip will be over before you know it.

-Learn how to use chopsticks before going to Asia. (Still working on this one)

-Do less. Don’t try and see everything. It’s impossible. Have a list of a few sights you want to see while you are in this new spot, try and do a few things each day but don’t kill yourself running around all day long. You’re on vacation so just chill out and eat some McNuggets.




-Sometimes you get lucky while travelling and meet incredible people that will be lifelong friends. Sometimes you spend a trip and are alone for most of the time. Both have their upsides.

-Our lives are much more dependent on luck than most of us care to admit. You had no say in your race, language, gender, intelligence, family, or nationality. We do have control over our thoughts, actions, and attitudes but lots of bad things happen to great people and working hard does not guarantee you success.



-Good or bad, hard to say.

https://medium.com/a-good-life/good-bad-hard-to-say-da956f0f690c

-Humans from different countries are much more similar than we are different. While we might believe in different stories of why we are here, eat different food, and have different levels of freedom, we aren’t all that different from each other.












-Here is a post I wrote about travel gear you might want to consider

https://bertbrandon.blogspot.com/2016/10/going-on-trip-bring-these.html


-The world is much more corrupt than I realized before leaving home. Just because someone is a police officer or involved in the government in some way, this does not mean that they are good people or are overly trustworthy. In some cases, it might be the opposite.




-I was asked recently about my perfect day. To keep things general, a perfect day for me abroad while visiting a new place would involve going to be early the night before, waking up early to find a cheap and delicious breakfast. Then, I would either take part in a bike tour or find a park to visit or mountain to climb. Next, eat something local that I couldn’t eat in whatever country I am currently calling home, then go back to where I was staying to re-group, maybe nap or just take a short break. After having some time alone, I would shower, grab a beer from a 7-11, eat dinner then maybe go out with people I might have met during the day or have another beer and see what the world has in store for me.



I hope that I have entertained and informed you at some point in the last ten years. I have written over 210 posts and writing about my travels and random thoughts has made my experience abroad more enriching. Thanks for reading.

“Maybe you had to leave in order to really miss a place; maybe you had to travel to figure out how beloved your starting point was.”

Jodi Picoult

One Year Sober

 

The last drink I had was May 24, 2020. I had some peach soju while watching Ford vs. Ferrari. I didn’t know that was going to be my last drink for a year but that’s the way it all unfolded. I would love to write about how AMAZING I feel since I gave up drinking and how EXTRAORDINARY my life has been since I stopped drinking but that’s not exactly what happened.

Why did I do this?

Mainly for health reasons. I didn’t have a problem and I wasn’t getting out of control drunk. I wouldn’t really drink during the week but maybe one night on the weekend I would have a few drinks and during normal times, would go out at least once a weekend; maybe more frequently when I was younger. I felt that a lot of people were drinking more because of lockdowns and I didn’t want to spend my Covid times being unhealthy. I wanted to give my liver a break, try to be healthier, have something to write about and just see what it’s like to not drink.



What was it like not drinking for a year?

I think not drinking during Covid was the right time to stop. People haven’t been partying so I feel like I haven’t missed out on much. Groups of people gathering and drinking has not been happening in Seoul so I haven’t felt tempted to buy a few Heinekens and just go for it. The strangest takeaway from this past year has been dreaming about alcohol. I would have dreams that I had a sip of beer then realize I wasn’t supposed to be drinking and then feel terrible. I looked this up online and apparently people with serious drinking problems have written that they also have dreams about alcohol. Most of the articles online are from people who quit because they had a real problem but there is a growing number of people who are choosing sobriety. Alcohol free bars were gaining popularity before Covid and there are lots of communities that help people shift to cleaner living. Here are some links and videos I found helpful:

https://www.oneyearnobeer.com/success-stories/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ND3IhIj4KzU&ab_channel=TheoVonClips

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKDXh-MHTkc&ab_channel=CaptainGnarkill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFe1a86Ibl8&ab_channel=AddictedToHappy


I also learned that people don’t really care if you aren’t drinking as long as you won’t judge them while they drink. People do tend to not trust someone who doesn’t drink. I don’t understand it but I have heard it multiple times. Dating is a little harder while not drinking because people think that you are an alcoholic who has some real issues with drinking but overall, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Dating sober just means you do more non-alcoholic activities and actually get to know each other without the crutch of a bartender. What a novel concept.







However, one interesting side effect was being sober really makes you feel your feelings. Feeling bad? Well, you are just going to have to feel bad. Feel great? That’s wonderful but you can’t feel even better because you can’t drink. I remember going on a date with a woman and feeling extremely nervous during our second date and thinking that alcohol would really hit the spot right about now. I don’t think we realize how we use alcohol to celebrate or when we want to commiserate. There’s almost always a time for alcohol

My lemonade intake skyrocketed. Not drinking forces you to have a go-to drink at the bar that doesn’t have booze in it. Try and not start pounding back sugary drinks. Perrier water and lime isn’t the worst choice.

You don’t need me to tell you this but alcohol is terrible for your body. We are essentially just drinking poison. But it’s delicious poison.


Also, throughout this past year I have noticed that when I want to drink is usually when I’m bored. Saturday afternoon with nothing to do? Grabbing a beer sounds like a good idea. Friday night and no plans? A whiskey and Coke would hit the spot. If you are trying to limit or quit your drinking, just make sure you have a different activity to take the place of drinking.

Finally, not drinking really makes you take responsibility for your actions. When we drink, we can blame the all-you can-drink brunch. But when you are completely sober and you wake up the next day regretting something you said or did, there is nobody else to blame but yourself. Not drinking should hopefully help you make better decisions.

Will you start drinking again?

Yes, but I think instead of my default answer being yes, I will pick and choose my drinking opportunities more carefully. Overall, I didn’t miss it but there are some situations where drinking just makes things better. Having a sour beer during the summer. Eating some fried chicken and having a beer is a very Korean thing to do. Having a Jager bomb for breakfast because it’s Thursday morning; things like that.


What have you learned?

For me, it wasn’t that hard to stop. It’s just a habit. I think it’s much harder to start doing something than it is to stop doing something. Not drinking is simple enough. Just don’t buy booze and you won’t drink it. It’s not that complicated. I have also noticed how prevalent drinking is in all cultures. Everywhere you go, people are drinking. Watching TV? People are drinking and they look so cool! Watching a movie? Drinking. People on a date? You better believe she is drinking if she has to talk to that dope all night. Brunch? Free flow all afternoon baby. Speaking of babies; drinking at a baby shower? Heck yes. Just as a fun game, try and notice how often you see or notice people talking about or actually drinking. It may or may not surprise you how frequently people get after it.






Do you recommend people stop drinking?

I think people should do whatever they want. You want to keep drinking? Go for it. Want to slow down? Give it a try. Want to give it up completely? You do you, young chap. I think that if you think you might want a break, just try 30 days. 365 is a bit excessive.


How has quitting alcohol affected other people?

During this past year, I have read a bunch of articles from people who have become sober and don’t seem to want to ever drink again. A lot of the articles are about people having way more energy, being a better parent, becoming much more productive, and generally feeling 100% better about almost everything. I don’t really feel this way. The main takeaway for me was not being hungover was the best outcome of my one year of no drinking. I lost about 15 pounds almost immediately while also riding my bike a lot. Not drinking also stops you from eating fast food late at night and ordering fast food the next day to deal with your recovery. If you add up all of the time planning to drink, buying alcohol, drinking, eating and recovering, that’s a lot of total time if added up throughout the years. I definitely saved some money, had much more free time, haven’t puked in over a year, and I wake up way earlier than I ever have.


What about non-alcoholic beer?

Did you not read the title? 100% sober. But if I were to do it again, I would probably have a few non-alcoholic Heinekens that they sell right outside of my apartment but the thought never really crossed my mind until 11 months in and by then I was in too deep not to finish strong.


Who else is sober?

Not that this is important but I looked up famous people who are sober and was a little surprised to see that it was more common than I would have guessed. Natalie Portman, Elton John, Zac Efron, Bradley Cooper, Rob Lowe, Russell Brand, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Lopez, Jim Carrey and even Eminem. I think being sober isn’t branded in a very sexy way. It’s portrayed in the media as being cool to smoke and to drink but we would all think Bond was a little less sexy if instead of asking for a martini-shaken, not stirred-he asked for a virgin watermelon margarita.

Final thoughts?

I think telling people I was doing one year without drinking made it easier for people to not try and convince me to drink. So if you are thinking about trying it, if anyone asks you to drink, just tell them you are doing a 30 day, 60 day, or rest of your life sober challenge and people should be ok with that. I also think telling people I was doing one year made me want to stick to it. For some reason, having other people keep you accountable makes it more likely that we will reach our goals.

In summary, I thought that I would feel way better after not drinking for a year. I feel fine. I feel healthy but I don’t feel like a completely different person. I’m glad I did it. I hope that it makes me appreciate the random gin and tonic or occasional old fashioned. You obviously know this but you really don’t need alcohol to have a good time. Seeing people wasted on the street at night yelling at their friends does not make me feel like I would like to be in their shoes.


I think drinking is incredibly social and we do it when we are with our friends to enjoy our downtime and bond with each other. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with that. It’s probably just important to understand the role alcohol plays in your life and how you feel about that relationship. Cheers!

"That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen." 

Charles Bukowski 

Miscellaneous Update

 

We are about two weeks from my ten-year anniversary of booking a one-way ticket to Thailand. Ten years. 210 blog posts. Innumerable spelling and grammatical mistakes.  A few new friends and a story or two to tell. Thanks for reading. Here is my May 2021 update.

 

-It’s two weeks until my birthday. I will be turning 35 years old. If I was a stock, my rating would be Sell.

 

-I am reading Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Huck Finn is just a big liar.

 

-I just fished watching Game of Thrones. My favourite two-character combo is the Hound and Arya. Cersei gives the best performance. Season 7 and 8 the show essentially turns into a show about zombies. If you love incest, dragons, and zombies, GoT is the show for you.

-I (mistakenly) told my students I would buy them a class pet a few months ago. I put another student in charge of finding an aquarium and purchasing whatever equipment we needed. Total initial cost: $160. Shortly after buying these two fish, they begin fighting each other. One gets a damaged fin. The student tells me I need to buy the fish fin repair medicine which cost $30. I drew the line at fish fin repair medicine.

However, a few weeks later, one of these fish laid eggs and the students were worried that the eggs were being eaten so I had to buy some type of protective bubble device to protect the eggs: $15. There are now many small baby fish in our class fish tank. Do you think my payments will cease now that I have a school of fish to support? I doubt it.

 

-I have about 90 days until I leave Korea. I feel good about that.

 

-I will be spending a few days in Portland, Washington, and Seattle. I feel great about that.

 

-A Canadian restaurant opened very close to my apartment. The lady who owns it worked in Quebec for a little while so she makes some traditional Canadian meals like poutine and chilli. I like it there.

 

-I was a little worried everyone would be vaccinated by the time I got home and I would miss out on a super fun summer; doesn’t seem like I will be missing out on much. I am very optimistic about things getting back to normal-ish this fall and winter and excited to be home to experience it. Things aren’t all bad.

 

-I recently watched the first three Rambo movies. I have a lot of free time.

-Am I worried about my future? Slightly.

 

-Should you be worried about my future? No.

 

-Is my mom worried about my future? Yes.

 

-My keypad to my apartment recently ran out of batteries. Stupid future.

 

-I asked my students what they would buy me for my 35^th birthday. One student wrote that he would buy me dentures, glasses, and a more comfortable bed because I’m old and need to rest.

 

-One of my nephews has been writing stories. I was told that the price was $2-3 a story. I recently asked him if I could buy a story from him. He agreed. The price has skyrocketed to $25. He knows a sucker when he sees one.

 

-Today I did not have to go to school because it’s Children’s Day in Korea. When I was a kid, I asked why there was a Mother’s Day and a Father’s Day but no Kid’s Day. I was told that every day was Kid’s Day.

 

-I recently re-watched What About Bob? Great family friendly viewing.

-My best friend in Korea is my bicycle.

 

-May 24^th will be 365 without drinking alcohol. 

 

I hope you have enjoyed this update. I hope you like bubbles. 

 “Knowing trees, I came to realize, understand and appreciate the act of patience.” Ogwo David Emenike