May Update + A Quick Rant

 

 

Have you missed me? I think we both know the answer to that question. What’s new? Well, I usually send people in my life voice messages and for the first time, I think I would rather be able to just talk than type but me creating a podcast is not going to enhance anyone’s life so here we are. It’s almost been a year since I left Seoul and decided to make Canada my long-term home. I was a little worried that after being back a few months (or a few weeks) I would want to get back “out there”. My top priority since 2011 has been to keep exploring and moving and I was worried that life at home wouldn’t excite me enough to stay. Surprisingly, that has not been the case and my transition home has gone as well as could have reasonably been hoped for. I spent the first few weeks exploring the Pacific Northwest with my friends from Thailand. I then spent some time in Toronto with my family before ultimately moving to the nation’s capital. Is Ottawa the best? No. Does Ottawa currently have power? No. Was school cancelled Wednesday because of a massive storm that wreaked havoc on the city and surrounding area? Yes. Did I use that time efficiently? No.

 

The upside to living in Ottawa is that I have family and friends here. There is a lot of opportunity to spend time in nature, play sports, and enjoy the other amenities that go along with living in a city with about a million other people. Understanding everyone and not having a language barrier get in the way of living my life has been a real delight. I definitively eased into my time back in Canada. While I was laying down the foundation for my business, I wouldn’t say I was burning the midnight oil. It wasn’t until the end of January that I started supply teaching. I was recently given my own grade two class until the end of the school year so I am a full-time teacher in Ontario. Pretty crazy. Oh, and I started a small business that from my perspective, has been a success. Do I make a ton of money from it? Not yet but I do have 5 shows this weekend and get inquiries weekly about summer birthday parties. If you have been reading this for any length of time, you might have noticed that I definitely enjoy my free time, and the way my life is organized now, free time is not something I have a lot of. I went from no jobs to two pretty full-time jobs very quickly and it feels good to be productive but it's a lot. Do you know what kids love? Their birthday. And kids love bubbles. It’s a perfect fit.

 

What else is new? Lacrosse started on Thursday. It did not go as badly as I thought it would so that should be a fun way to spend one night a week this summer. 

Not sure if you have tried sour beer but it’s definitely been a highlight since moving back here. 

I just completed one year of no gambling. I didn’t have a gambling problem or anything like that but after doing one year of no drinking, it seemed like the next logical thing to give up. Will I gamble again soon? I’ll bet you I will.

How great is it to see my mom all of the time? Pretty great.

Three final things

I would have liked for someone to have warned me about speed cameras being littered throughout the city. They are very sneaky and if one ever gets ‘accidentally’ run over, it wasn’t me.

I enjoy a good back crack and since going to a chiropractor isn’t cheap, I bought a foam roller that has little spikes in it. It might be my favourite possession and definitely recommend getting one.

 

Can we stop saying, “How are you?” as a greeting. NOBODY IS TELLING YOU THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY HATE THEIR LIFE/WIFE/HUSBAND/JOB/HOUSE/CAT/BOSS/KID. What is the upside in asking a question that nobody wants to hear and you don’t want to know the answer to? I get that we think it’s polite but is lying and saying, “Good” being polite? I frequently answer when asked this question, “Does anyone ever tell you the truth?” People usually say no and I try to gently suggest that this is a ridiculous way to greet people. So, if you are someone who consistently asks this question, I kindly ask that you cut it out. Just stop. Everyone has had enough. What else can you say? Now that’s a good question. Here are some alternatives.

-Don’t say anything because nobody cares.

-Have you learned anything new recently?

-Tell me something interesting

-What do you think is true even though you can’t prove it?

-What has been the best part of your day so far?

-What is something you are looking forward to?

-Give someone a compliment

-Just smile

-You can just say hi or good morning.

-Do you recommend any books, shows, or magazines for me to watch/consume?

-Free flights or free food?

-Any fun plans for the weekend? Any fun plans for the summer?

-Which child is your favourite?

-How much money do you have and can I have some?

 

I think those are the main topics I wanted to hit. To summarize this post, I’m happy to be home and I don’t have plans to go anywhere. I bid you adieu. 

A Date to End Your Relationship

Are you dating someone that you are unsure of? Are you maybe married to someone that you still aren’t quite certain of? Are you looking to sow some doubt in your partner’s belief in your relationship? If yes, then I have the date for you.

I’ve gone on this date three times. Each time it has ultimately led to the demise of that relationship. The first time I went on the date, I realized that this was not the person for me. The following two times, it would appear that they realized that we were not a match because I never saw them again. Coincidence? Unlikely. So, if you are searching for an exit strategy, look no further.

The genesis of this idea came when I wanted to ask a person I was seeing what part of a map/globe their eyes immediately go to when seeing a map or globe (A pretty hot question, isn't it?). I realized that I couldn't just put an atlas (great name by the way; spoiler alert) in front of her and call it a night so I Googled something like library date ideas. I stumbled upon (remember that website?) a library scavenger hunt. The premise is that you go to a Chapters or whatever bookstore you have in your city and you come up with certain categories.

For example, let's pretend we are on a date (how exciting) and I tell you to go to the magazine section and pick a magazine you want to be on the cover of. I’ll head over to the children’s section and find a book I loved as a child. In ten minutes, we will meet back up, share what we found then switch categories. Other options include but are not limited to: finding a great photo in the photography section; choosing a person you would want to have dinner with in the biography section; choosing a board game you would bring to a cottage; finding a topic of a book that you know nothing about; finding a recipe you would want to make together. Sounds fun, right? It’s fun until you or they realize that they are picking absurd answers and you slowly realize you might be making a huge mistake. When I first went on this date back in 2016, I had the idea that it would be quite romantic to kiss this person while she was reading a book she loved as a kid. While she was reading this book, I had thought that this wasn’t the person for me and that I should just leave her alone and never see her again. At what point did the other two have this same thought about me? Hard to say but it could have been my favourite plant selection or my sexiest graphic novel character choice. 

Could this date help you fall in love? Well, I’m not 100% sure love even exists but for you hopeless romantics or those of you looking for confirmation that your partner isn't the one, head over to your closest bookstore and watch it all fall apart (or I suppose fall together) in front of your eyes.

Libraries Are Cooler Than You Think

 

When was the last time you visited a library? Has it been a minute? If you haven’t been recently, you’re missing out. Libraries are extremely helpful. Let’s find out how.

 

Are you paying for audiobooks? If yes, my suggestion is to stop wasting your money and start getting free audiobooks from your local library. Did I mention the audiobooks are free? Just register for a free library card, download the Libby app, and start downloading! The downsides are that you only have 21 days to listen to each of your books and popular titles might take a few weeks or months to arrive. However, you can borrow up to 10 so there will be plenty to listen to while you kill time for the latest release to arrive free in your app.

 

I haven’t been a huge audiobook person but some books seem better consumed by audio. Memoirs by artists who read their books are the main reason I listen to books. I also listened to Atlas Shrugged because many people said it was a must-read but it was far too long to tackle so I listened to it instead. Read my review of Atlas Shrugged here:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/662.Atlas_Shrugged

Audiobooks that are read by the author that I recommend are:

Born a Crime by Trevor Noah

Will by Will Smith

A Promised Land by Barack Obama

I Must Say by Martin Short

 

They also have real books! Books are those things with pages that people sit down without their phones and read! And they’re free! Stop buying books and read them for free from your local library.

 

Here are some other services that Ottawa public libraries offer. Who knows what magic your local library offers? Go find out!

 

-DVDs

-Magazines

-Quiet

-Video games

-3d printing

-Classes

-Computer use

-Printing

-YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/BiblioOttawaLibrary

-Lamination services

-Creation spaces. suspended due to Covid but sounds fun

-Photocopying

-Book club and other programs to help adult literacy

-Digitization Lab. The Digitization Lab at the Beaverbrook Branch features three stations that allow visitors to create digital copies of historical photos and documents

-Imagine Space.

https://biblioottawalibrary.ca/en/imagine-space-and-labs

The following cutting edge equipment is available in the Imagine Space: 3D printing and modelling; Laser cutting; photo, video, and audio editing; green screen and video gear; hand tools and electronics; and a wall-to-wall whiteboard

https://biblioottawalibrary.ca/en/imagine-space-and-labs 

-Music editing station.

The music editing stations allow library users to produce, record, and edit audio files.

 

-Homebound services.

OPL customers can request to have OPL employees regularly select Library materials and deliver them to their door every month. This free, bilingual service is available to borrowers who are confined to their home or residence for more than 3 months because of age, illness, or disability and cannot visit a library branch or bookmobile stop.

 

Ottawa is building a new main public library branch. The cost? Over 330 million dollars. How luxurious.

 

https://globalnews.ca/news/8266283/ottawa-central-library-construction-costs/

 

I hope I’ve convinced you to visit your local library. The library also accepts suggestions on materials for them to order but they do limit your suggestions to 3 a month so use your suggestions wisely.

“The very existence of libraries affords the best evidence that we may yet have hope for the future of man.”

T.S. Eliot

2022, 25-hour road trip, and Miami

 

Hola! It’s 2022. It happened. It’s here. How do you feel? Did you miss me? We have a lot to catch up on.

 

What’s your 2022 looking like? Any resolutions? What are your priorities?

My top three priorities are:

1-Making/saving money

2-Work and my business

3-Being healthy

 

Resolutions:

No candy, snacks, or treats. This means no desserts, pop, or anything else that can be considered a treat. I think I’m going to allow the occasional Gatorade in the summer or after some physical exercise. I will also allow a Red Bull about once a month. I just feel like sugar is too accessible and tasty so I need a little break and hopefully lose a few kgs. I figure that if I can go a year without drinking, I can do almost anything. I’m halfway through a year of no gambling and I’m certainly looking forward to that challenge being completed.

 

I’m living alone for the first few months of 2022 so that’s a positive thing. I’m hopefully joining an Ottawa lacrosse league in the spring, turning 36 in May, and trying to figure out life in Canada. Overall, I think coming back has been a tremendous success and I have no plans on leaving.

 

Road trip

It takes 25 hours of driving to get to Florida. I know that because, at the end of December, I drove my mom’s husband’s car down to Florida so they can have a car throughout the winter. Why did I offer to do that drive? I thought about that a lot during my 25-hour journey; not sure I have an answer other than the fact that I have a lot of free time and I’ve never been on a massive solo road trip before. I would say it was a success.

Highlights:

Listened to some podcasts and an audiobook (Circe; not recommended)

Meals and lodging paid for (recommended)

Was getting gas near Washington and I went inside to get a Red Bull for the trip. Gave the guy cash and he was trying to give me change. The cash register wasn’t working so he looked at it, slapped it, and said, “Come on Mary!”

Saw my old friend Lu Lui who I worked with in Shanghai. She lives in South Carolina so I stopped by her town and we ate at a Sonic.

Finally arriving in Florida and enjoying the 25+ heat as opposed to the -25 degrees in Canada’s capital.

The biggest surprise was that I didn’t get lost once or make a wrong turn on my entire journey to Florida. I would have guessed before starting this trip I would have made at least 5 wrong turns and gotten lost at least twice so gold star for me.

I also didn’t get pulled over or interact with any police while I was in America so that’s another big win.

Lowlights:

Almost hit a deer at night in the rain in South Carolina so dodged a bullet there.

Saw lots of garbage and abandoned cars in the Virginia, South Carolina, North Carolina area.

Not sure I would have been able to drive back; flying is much faster and convenient so if you ever get the chance to take part in a massive road trip, my recommendation would be to not have to drive back.

 

Savannah, Georgia.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFQ_GvpzP4w

Savannah was only a three-hour drive from where my friend lived so I got up early and drove to Savannah. I’ve heard a lot of good things and wanted to check it out. I had two priorities for the quick visit before getting back on the road and finishing the drive to Florida. One was eating at Mrs. Wilkes Dining Room. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMmJWao9mR0

The other was to take a trolley tour of the city.

Priority one: Due to Covid, they don’t serve indoors and only let people order takeout. Perfect. I wasn’t trying to get Covid so this was a positive development. I read that the restaurant opens at 11 but people start lining up before 10:30 because sometimes by 12, they have run out of food to serve. I’m not a huge morning person but I’ve never had classic Southern food so I was excited to leave early and head to Mrs. Wilkes Dining Room. I arrived right around 10:15 which was lots of time to eat, take the tour and get on my way. Is life this simple folks? Would the world grant me a problem-free day? Of course not! I parked the car and outside of the restaurant, a sign read: Due to a family emergency, the restaurant is closed today.

Of course.

Freaking out in the middle of the street didn’t seem like a way to avoid police interaction so I drove over to the trolley tour and started to learn about the history of Savannah. I won’t bore you with everything the guide told me but I will tell you a few things that stood out for me. If anything I’m about to write is incorrect, you can blame my trolley guide.

Forest Gump was filmed in Savannah. The scenes where Tom Hanks talks to strangers as they are waiting for the bus, was filmed in the Historic District of Savannah. After the film became popular, people came by see the famous bench. Seeing it wasn’t enough for some people so they started taking parts of the wooden bench. The bench was then moved inside of a museum because people are the worst.

-Mary Telfair came from a rich family. She was engaged but her fiancé left her for her younger sister (classic). She hated men for the rest of her life. After her death, she left her fortune to the city of Savannah. Ten years after her death, her family displayed 5 statues of men outside of her home out of spite.

-Spanish moss trees are everywhere in Savannah. Apparently, Henry Ford used Spanish moss to stuff the seats of his Model T Fords. They used to boil the Spanish moss because there is some type of bug that lives in the moss however Ford stopped boiling the moss that eventually led to bugs ‘disturbing’ drivers all over America. This led to the first-ever car recall.

https://www.hotcars.com/this-was-the-first-automotive-recall-ever/

 

Jones Street in Savannah was named America’s most beautiful street

 https://savannahfirsttimer.com/jones-street-prettiest-street-in-savannah/

 

Miami

I didn’t get Covid in Miami so maybe I didn’t do it right. My plan in July was to watch a Dolphins vs. Patriots game but it turned out the game was going to essentially be meaningless so I sold my ticket. However, this did not negatively impact my weekend. I stayed in South Beach the entire weekend. It’s what you imagine it to be. Super warm, Cuban vibes, great weather, and lots of very fit-looking people trying to enjoy the sunshine. I rarely leave a city thinking I could live there but I would definitely live in Miami in another life. Would for sure go back and encourage anyone who has any interest to check it out. I quickly walked around Little Havana before flying back to Canada and it was a real tasty treat. Not a fan of coffee but the Cuban coffee at The House of Cuban Coffee was unreal. If you can speak Spanish, this area is for you. I was definitely sad to leave.

 

Quick hostel story

Long story short, I stayed at a hostel and there was a guy from Israel in the bed across from me. I wake up in the middle of the night and he is half on his bed and half on the floor. A bit strange. A few minutes later, he’s awake but seems like he is sleepwalking or something and he is just sort of staring at me. This continues for a little while. I look away, look back at him, he’s still looking at me then looks away. I ask him if he’s ok. Don’t really get a response. He then gets up, goes to the shower, turns on the light, and just stands in the shower without the sound of running water.  At this point, there is no way I’m falling back asleep so I go down to the pool around 2am and feel like it’s probably safe to go back just before sunrise. I understand why people don’t stay in hostels.

 

I wish you a healthy, productive, and entertaining 2022. Adios.

“In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.”

 

Bertrand Russell

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Started a Business

 

I have felt for a long time that I would like to be more entrepreneurial. I have read a bunch of books on starting a business but I never felt like I had the right idea or the timing didn't seem optimal. When my dream of living in Japan was shattered, I started thinking more seriously about what I wanted to do when I moved back to Canada. It's been fun teaching the last 8ish years but teaching in Canada has never really interested me so last year during the pandemic, I started mapping a return to Canada plan.

I started with what I thought I was good at. (That brainstorming session didn't last long) I like teaching but I don't love giving kids homework or grading their tests. I like being outside. I like making people laugh and I also like to party. Where does that leave me? I also had to consider something with a low startup cost and something I would enjoy doing every day. I began thinking of jobs that I could still be around kids but not have the responsibility of being their full-time teacher. Another thought I had was this:

What do people spend a lot of money on? I came up with their pets and their children. 

Ok, so I'm looking for a job that is similar to teaching, a little more laid back where I can run a business that parents will pay me money for. So I started looking at birthday party businesses in New York and Los Angeles. I felt like those places probably have fun and unique ideas that might not have been brought to Canada yet. I found a lot of princess party businesses, bouncy castles, superhero-themed parties, STEM-related activities, and lots of cooking-based birthday party classes. Those are all fine ideas but they didn't grab my attention until I stumbled upon birthday parties that involved kids playing with bubbles. Everyone loves bubbles. I discovered that kids were being put into bubbles, kids were playing, making, and popping their own bubbles and it seemed like everyone was having a great time. There were a few of these bubble performance birthday businesses and it intrigued me. These parties can be done in parks, in someone's backyard, or even in their homes.  This seemed like a good way of not having to rent out a physical store and being outside is way more enjoyable than being inside; seems better for kids to be able to play around outside and get kid wild. 

After having a solid lead on wanting to bring bubbles to Canada, I searched bubble performers in Ottawa and Toronto. There are a few in Toronto but none in Ottawa; I was onto something. If it worked in other places, why not Ottawa? I reached out to a few people online who already had this job and asked them for advice and to meet me on Zoom. One lady agreed and I asked her many, many questions. After a few meetings and paying her in Amazon gift cards, she referred me to another bubbleologist who has been active in this career for over 40 years. At the end of our first meeting together, I asked him, "Do a lot of people message you and ask you for advice on how to start a bubble business?" His response was, "No, nobody has ever done this." I'm either a genius or an absolute idiot. 

Now that I had met with two people, I had the confidence to think this was a good idea and that I wanted to start my own birthday party business that focused on bubbles. I looked on Amazon for every type of bubble toy, the best solution, and any other supply that could help me make my new business a success. The purchases began in the fall of 2020 and has been going pretty steady since then. Coming home was like Christmas morning will all of these unopened Amazon packages. Since arriving back in Ottawa, I have been experimenting with the best bubble solutions, best toys, outdoor tricks, putting a kid in a bubble, and learning more about the science behind bubbles. 

I have done a few shows in Ottawa by messaging people via Instagram. I have done a couple of outdoor birthday parties and it seems like people have enjoyed it. Now that the weather is getting cooler, I am working on my indoor shows that involve different bubble tricks, bubble arts and crafts, and other bubble-related activities. My goal is to keep doing shows this winter, grow, eventually hire people to help me and build a bubble empire. If you are in Ottawa and need some birthday entertainment, I am your guy. Or if you know anyone that might find this interesting, please let them know. You can follow me on Instagram @bubblebirthdays or check out my website www.bubblebirthdays.com

"This is better than a magician." Random kid at a park.