Friday, November 21, 2014

To who I'm going to marry

It's about time I tell single Bert that we've had some awesome times, met some cool people but I'm ready to move on. I feel like 28 years doing my own thing has gotten me almost as far as I’m going to get alone. I could be a much better Bert. Much better. I’m just not intrinsically motivated enough; having you as motivation will take us to new heights.

After meeting most new people I think “Will you be the girl I marry?” This is killing my productivity. I’m under the assumption that you are doing something incredibly awesome like building a sailboat, saving someone’s life and saving an endangered species all at the same time but I need your help. I’m not a good dater/boyfriend/small talker. I’m not someone you want to meet at a party. I’m not good at faking interest. I don’t have tons of things to say to strangers. I'm waiting to get to know you. I do promise I will tell you anything and everything you want and need to know. I’m saving my time and energy for you. I honestly remind myself constantly that I want to make your friends jealous about how great your life and family with me is. They won’t want to leave our clean house to go back to “Stan”  who forgot to feed their kids and put them to bed on time. It’s a school night!

 I promise to remember that you like burnt marshmallows, hate yogurt or whatever quirky things that are important to you because I will make it important to me. I promise to wake up early and make you breakfast, do the chore you especially hate and make sure your car is clean and smells like vanilla or whatever scent that you love.

If you laugh at my hilarious jokes, tell me I look good in one of my many suits and are cool with me watching football, I think we will do just fine. I only ask that you do your best to find me because I can’t wait to make your life better. And if you are half as good looking as I imagine you are, our kids will be breathtaking. I will teach our kids so many fun things, take them on walks and go on all kinds of adventures. I might be a better dad than a husband but I promise I won’t ever stop trying to be better at both. There are a few things I’m going to need to learn how to do first so I can teach our kids them but it seems like time is on our side. I doubt that you will find this post because you are probably somewhere researching nanotechnology or riding a horse in a country I've never heard of but you should know that I’m about ready to start exploring new cities, restaurants and islands with you. No hurry though; I wouldn’t want to rush you. I’m around. Just say hi.


"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading"

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