Pet Peeves

What gets you? What really gets you? In no particular order, here’s what gets me.

People who line up mad early in economy to be the first people seated on the flight. What is your hurry? You look silly. I’ve never been unable to put my bag overhead or been told to check my bags. How about you bring less stuff you savage? We are all getting on the same flight people.

Same vein, people who can’t wait to unbuckle their seatbelts, get up, attempt to get their bag then wait in the aisle for 10 minutes staring at each other. One time !a guy who was closer to the window asked if I could get up so he could get his bag. HOW ABOUT YOU LEARN A MILD AMOUT A PATIENCE YOU BAFOON

I’m only half joking when I tell people I would break up with a girlfriend if she was super picky whilst ordering at Subway. I wouldn’t last 30 minutes as a Sandwich Artist. Can I have extra pickles please? A few more…oh that’s too much. I QUIT!

Littering and smokers that treat the Earth like their trash can. I will punch you right in the mouth grandma.

Oh, so you want me to let you in but aren’t going to give me the semi-mandatory wave to acknowledge my driving compassion towards you and your Ford Focus?

You want to touch me with your freezing cold hands? How about I never look, think or talk to you for the rest of eternity?

Don’t say thank you; I didn’t notice or care.

Sure, swear around your little kid. That seems appropriate and in the best interests of everyone long term.

You’re is equivalent to you are. How many days of class did you miss in elementary, middle and high school? 90%?

Too is tooooooo much or toooooo many things. I get toooooo upset over this.

Having wet hands. It just isn’t right.

Unable to connect to the Wi-Fi.

Losing essentially anything.

Thinking something is completely charged but the battery is dead. Hold me back.

Unsubscribing from emails but the emails don’t stop. Whyyyyyy?

Going out for dinner with a massive group of people then trying to split the bill evenly. I only have 100’s. I only have debit. I forgot my wallet. I’ll be eating alone next time.

People who call me Brett.

When the dentist asks if I’ve been flossing. We both know the answer to that sir.

When you realize that almost every problem can be solved by making a list and thinking ahead then not ever making lists to get ahead.

Wet socks.

An empty ice cube tray in the freezer. That one gets me good.

Buying meatless meatballs by accident because it seems like they were trying to mislead me.

Not having enough podcasts to listen to.

Having someone constantly switching channels on the radio.

Commercials of any type. Mute, mute, mute. How does that not bother everyone?

Bureaucracy.

Having to ask for a Wi-Fi password. Just display it somewhere to save us both the hassle.

Paying $3.50 to use an ATM. It has gotten out of hand.

New Zealand.

Hearing both sides of a Skype conversation at a hostel or random spot.

Buy headphones to at least limit one side of this terrible conversation I’m being forced to listen to.

Babies who are out past a reasonable hour. They should be asleep and you should be in jail ma'am.

Brushing off a car filled with ice and snow super early in the snowy winter.

People who insist on lining up to take an escalator as the stairs go unused. Don’t be lazy.

People who have storage units. Just sell that stuff. You don’t need it.

Malls.

Needing to repeat myself over and over.

Cold showers.

Pens that don’t work.

Not having my headphones.

People who are generally late or unreliable.

Pitch black by 4pm during the winter.

People who complain other than on pet peeve lists.

Stopping in the middle of the busy stairwell to check you phone.

Driving and cutting in at the last second.

People on EI who work under the table.

Being on hold.

People who don’t believe in facts, research or science.

Needing to constantly use a VPN whilst in China.

Going to Blockbuster and your favourite movie has already been taken.

Clocks that have the wrong time.

When people are talking about a place then ask “Have you been?” in a tone that I don’t appreciate.

People who drag their feet.

My phone.

Bailing at the last minute.

Talking on the phone whilst buying something and dealing with the cashier. You aren’t that important. I promise.

People who rush you when you are getting your change from the cashier.

Not giving people time or space to get off the elevator or subway. See China.

Deciding whether or not to bring an item, not bringing it then realizing it would have been the perfect thing to bring.

Phone chargers plugged in but not charging anything.

Paper jams, out of ink or out of paper.

Snoring.

Well that list escalated quickly. I was a little worried I wouldn’t have enough. I did about 90% on my own then did some heavy research for the final 10% which ended up reminding me of even more pet peeves. They vary on how much they actually annoy me and when and where also plays a role. Am I way off or have I overdone it? It’s March Madness everyone! Yeah baby!

"Money doesn't change you; it reveals who you are when you no longer need to be nice."