Graduation Fail

I failed. Failed hard. People say failing is good and that you learn from it. It’s been about two months and I’m not convinced it was in any shape or form positive. I was asked to give the closing speech during our graduation at the end of June. I was unsure what to talk about. Graduation speeches can be a bit cliché and I wanted to mix it up a little. While I think the premise of my talk was positive, I failed to realize how soft I am and emotional I get. I should have kept to mood light and positive seeing that I cry far, far too often. It was a sadder vibe than I expected the day of graduation and I regret not pounding back a Red Bull and listening to some pump-up music on my final drive to school. I should mention that I was their speech teacher. Speech. The class I have taught for two years showing them what to do and not to do all culminated in one final speech to send these kids off into the sunset. I cried almost instantly and barely got through it. It was a complete disaster that I regret almost daily. I understand now why people are afraid of public speaking. I thought I had it covered. I thought I would kill it. I did not. Here is my speech. I hope you can gleam some wisdom from this abject failure of mine.

Thank you, Mr. Weir, teachers, parents and students. I know you think I’m going to come up here and give you advice about how I think you should live your life. (Pause) Well, you’re right. This is my last opportunity so get comfortable, this is going to be a long one.

I’m a big fan of quotes so here is my first:

“The trouble is, you think you have time.”

We all think we have more time than we do.

The average life expectancy of Koreans and Canadians is about 83 years. Let’s assume for a moment that we will all live to be 90. While researching for this speech many, many weeks ago, I came across an article from someone one year older than me who calculated how much time he has left on Earth and created some graphs to represent his remaining years. Here is what I found.

For a man who is expected to live to 90 and who is 34 years of age right now, he should have:

About 56 winters left.

56 Super Bowls. (just looking for one more Cowboys Super Bowl)

Lived through 5 presidents and should see about 9 more. Hopefully a new one next year. CIVICS!

Now for the most depressing stat.
For people who graduate and don't live at home again, they have already spent about 90% of the total time they will spend with their parents. If I were to see my mom for about 10 days a year for the next 30 years, that gives us about 300ish days.  

I don’t say this to scare or worry you. This is just reality. And the unfortunate reality is that while we are looking at numbers hoping we live to 90, that will not be in all of our futures. When I was 19 my dad died when he was in his early 60s. We should have had another 30 years but life doesn’t work that way.

Here’s my second quote that I find accurate and appropriate:

Youth is wasted on the young.

I want you to not waste your youth or any other time period you have in life. We think what we do is significant and especially when young, we tend to think small events will destroy our future lives. I’m here to tell you that we will all will be forgotten in less than 150 years. Again, I don’t say this to scare you, I say this to relief you of the stress that any of this is important. You embarrassing yourself while running through the halls and breaking your phone means nothing in the ever-expanding universe. Your girlfriend inevitably breaking your heart will fall into the abyss of Earth’s 4 plus billion age.

My third quote comes from Steve jobs:

 “Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.

Almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Maybe you think you shouldn’t listen to the guy on stage without a job, but at least listen to the guy who most likely created the phone that’s currently in your pocket.

I’m not saying you need to be productive all the time and make every second count. I think it’s ok to waste some time, studies say it’s good. There’s a difference between sleeping in and reading a book one morning and wasting 4 hours each night past lights out playing video games on the 5^th floor of the dorm.

I will leave you with my fourth quote:

“There’s only one thing more precious than our time and that’s who we spend it on.” Leo Christopher

Be mindful of who you let into your life, who you spend your time with and the amount of time you spend with your family.

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Choose carefully.

Actually, I have one more:

Life, if well lived, is long enough. Seneca

Thank you and God bless

Telling kids that their parents will die soon and they will soon follow was a misstep. Don’t remind people of their impending doom. Kills the room.

Telling them nothing they do is important and everyone will be forgotten was also not a crowd pleaser.

In the grand scheme of things, nobody actually cares that I fumbled that speech. Those students have forgotten about my mishap and also any advice I tried to pass on to them that day. I hope my message sticks with you more than it did with them.

"Failure is an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night." Zig Ziglar