I Don’t Love Japan

I wish this wasn’t the case. I’m not a big dreamer but living in Japan for multiple years and becoming ‘Japanese’ has been high on my list for quite some time. I have been learning Japanese since the summer and have made slow but steady progress. However, upon visiting my version of Neverland, I can’t help but feel that I am the one to blame. It’s not Japan’s fault I’m not in love; it’s my own.

Places aren’t inherently good or bad. Places are just places. Some places are more beautiful. Some places are more affordable or exotic or spicy or populated. Almost every place there are people going to work Monday morning, getting food at the grocery store, people obsessively checking their phones and wondering how to work less and play more.

There are 7-11’s everywhere. Most places have cinemas, McDonald’s, WiFi, public transportation, vending machines selling Coca-Cola and Snickers, hospitals, hair salons and shops selling apartments and houses. While places can vary quiet dramatically from continent to continent, I personally find more similarities than differences. Japan is just another place where people are living their lives, trying to raise a family, save some cash and eat the occasional blowfish.

Why is this such a surprise to me? Why did I think Japan would be that much different than every other country I have been to? If you’ve been with me from the beginning, you might be able to guess the crucial mistake I have made.

My expectations were too high.

My expectation:

This super strange place where people don’t speak English, almost everything is in Japanese and super strange things are happening all over. People will stare at me because I am such an anomaly and ladies will flock to me like Canadians at a maple syrup conference.  Going out will be some wild party because, well, it’s JAPAN! Every meal with be out of this world, every walk down every street will be an adventure. The snowboarding will be cray cray and the smells and dazzling lights will keep me out all night.

The reality is more like:

English signs and English language on all buses, trains and metros. Nobody thinks it’s unique that I’m from Canada. Japanese women feel the same way as any other race towards me: indifference.

Snowboarding was fine but has been the worst winter for snow in 40 years. Thanks Obama.

Lights, sounds and sights are just like Hong Kong or New York.

Is Japan beautiful? Yes

Is Japanese food good? Yeah most of it is solid but it’s not lose our minds out of this world great.

Are Japanese people friendly? Very friendly if it’s their business. Keep to themselves otherwise.

Is Japan filled with Japanese people? It’s the most homogeneous country in the world. I appreciate their loyalty to their own kind. I really do. But the fact that over 97% of Japan is Japanese makes me feel like as much as anyone tries, you won’t every be like them. Which actually, might not be a terrible thing. Since they work themselves to death (karoshi), have high suicide rates (75 people a day in 2015), high cost of living and hikikomori, a condition where people stay inside and shut themselves out from the rest of society, maybe being Japanese isn’t something to be jealous of or to covet.

Let me take some of the blame as well. It’s likely that I am the one who is not fun. It could be that I am getting older, more cynical and less impressed with which humankind has been able to produce. Things might have been entirely different if I had gone with a bunch of friends, had more money, could speak fluent Japanese and had Japanese people show me around. It would also be different if I moved to Japan instead of Thailand. Alas, all I could do was do my best to see this country I have fantasized about since 2009. Last year, I was one question away from getting a job teaching university students in Japan. Devastated is a strong word so I will use the word disheartened. However, with more time and perspective, I feel like Korea was the right choice. This is far too early to say and I don’t want to make any dramatic statements but I think overall as a country, I prefer Korea. #hottake.

Is Japan my new nemesis? Taking over from the most overrated country in the world, New Zealand? Of course not. Nothing could be that bad. I am going back in April for a final visit with my favourite mom to explore Kyoto, Tokyo and some surrounding areas. Seeing cherry blossoms with her might improve my overall impression of this extremely well marketed country. Which brings me to my final observation. Japan has done a terrific job in its reputation and exporting its culture worldwide. Japan has done a tremendous job of having teenagers all over the globe obsessively read its manga comics.

 Japan is world famous for its sushi and ramen. Can you think of a place that has a better reputation for working harder, being efficient or more respectful? Japan is blessed with some of the best powder for snowboarding, has Mt. Fuji, Kyoto temples and bamboo forests as well as one of the most famous cities in the world, Tokyo. It’s reputation for such efficient high-speed trains, karaoke and vending machines has lured people in from all over the world. If you have an interest in this distinctive place, you should definitely spend some time exploring and find out for yourself.

I am super lucky to have been able to explore Japan and have these types of opportunities.  Most people don’t get to go to Japan 4 times in 8 months so I understand that I should appreciate the chance to travel and see the world. I only have myself to blame for having high hopes about a country that was never going to solve all of my problems or eventually make me ‘happy’. Wherever you go, there you are. What Japan has taught me is that wherever I live next, I want to live in that place for an extended period of time, and what is more important to me at 33 is finding my own community and being around people similar to me rather than trying to break into a culture that might not even want me there in the first place. The countdown to a new home for 2021 has begun.

Good or bad, hard to say.